I have always had a dog as a pet. Over the years, I have had to cope with the passing of three family dogs, which was very difficult. Each dog was ‘put down’ due to old age and although each decision was tough to make, we had time to prepare for the loss and we had each other in the family to lean on for support. Now, I have my own family and my own two dogs and I dread the day when I lose one of my pets as they are a significant part of our daily lives. Also, aside from my own grief, I will have to also manage the grief of my young son. The thought of the situation is overwhelming and makes me think of how I will cope with the circumstances in order to help my son grieve while also trying to focus on the good times and good memories.

I am fortunate that I had my parents to help my sister and me cope with the loss of our pets in a very healthy way. They always helped provide a good balance of emotional support as well as thoughts and memories to help us focus on the good times with our dogs. My parents were also wise about waiting an appropriate amount of time before bringing a new dog into the family. This was important as it gave us time to mourn and cope with our loss. Pets provide most with unconditional love, emotional support, companionship and acceptance; therefore their passing can be devastating and cause intense sorrow. When you lose someone close to you; typically family, friends and co-workers provide a large amount of support to help you cope with your loss. This is not always the case when you lose a pet.

Therefore, finding ways to cope with your loss can bring you back to good memories. One ritual my parents had when one of our pets passed on was to hold a small memorial service. We would find a special place in the yard for our dog’s remains and later create a memorial for our pet. For one dog we planted a special tree, for another we placed a small birdbath near their burial place and for our last dog, my sister painted a little headstone. Each of the memorials we placed at our dog’s burial spots is still in my parent’s yard and my sister and I admire them and reminisce about our childhood pets when we visit.

My parent’s also created a few nice scrapbooks with photos of times we shared with our dogs along with some nice framed photos in their home. All of the steps my parents took helped my sister and me grieve after our dogs passed away and to this day, provide us with many good memories. My parents helped lay the foundation for a constructive grieving process and I hope that when the time comes, I am as helpful and supportive to my son as my parents were to me and my sister.

By Kirsten Goulet